


drained of what was named (self respect);

by unintentionallyangsty



Series: drive the dark things away; [10]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies), Thor: Ragnarok (2017) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Big Brother Thor (Marvel), Brodinsons, Brother Feels, Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Angst, Brothers, Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Crying, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hugs, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Hurt/Comfort, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki Gets a Hug (Marvel), Loki Lives (Marvel), Men Crying, Nightmares, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Protective Thor (Marvel), The Revengers - Freeform, The Statesman, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Whump, Whumptober, Whumptober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 05:54:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26967046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unintentionallyangsty/pseuds/unintentionallyangsty
Summary: Loki experiences his first nightmares on theStatesman, and Thor is left at a loss as to how to react.(Whumptober 2020 Prompts #10 & 11 Fill: Nightmares / Crying.).
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Thor, Brunnhilde | Valkyrie & Thor (Marvel), Loki & Thor, Loki & Thor (Marvel)
Series: drive the dark things away; [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1949623
Comments: 12
Kudos: 179
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	drained of what was named (self respect);

**Author's Note:**

> Loki & Thor. set during the time spent on the _Statesman_
> 
> written for the Whumptober 2020 Prompts #10 & #11 Fills: Nightmares & Crying. 

The first time it happened, Thor nearly missed it. 

He was awoken sometime in the night by a dull _thud_ , followed by a string of poorly muffled curses, and shifted to face the door before peering around the dark of the chambers blearily. 

It was not a rarity to be awoken by any number of foreign sounds during a night spent on the _Statesman_ , though Thor had still not quite managed to become accustomed to such a sleeping pattern, in the past two or so weeks of space travel. 

Therefore, he allowed himself to sit up on his elbows, now, knowing that sleep would most likely elude him for another hour, at least, and distantly wondering if it might be close enough to morning to simply get out of bed and begin getting an extra head start on his duties for the day. 

His thoughts were roughly drawn back to the source of his disturbance, however, by the sound of shuffling coming from the corner of the room. 

The corner of the room, Thor realized belatedly with a small, weary sigh, that Loki had all but claimed as his own, their first night aboard the ship. 

Their first days aboard the _Statesman_ were, looking back, something of a blur of activity, and somehow the four of them (Thor, Bruce, the Valkyrie, and Loki) had all ended up bunking in the spacious captain’s quarters, though Thor could no longer remember who had been the one to initially make the suggestion.

And, unsurprisingly, the four had subsequently remained there, for sake of convenience more than anything else. 

Which had, of course, been suitable for everyone with the exception of Loki, who had remained in a near constant state of obvious discomfort at the close quarters, and had almost immediately shuffled his bed roll into the very corner of the room, the dark glower on his features a warning against any invasion of the space in itself. 

And, to Thor’s knowledge, everyone had been more than happy to comply. 

Now, however, it seemed that Loki’s carefully constructed peace was finally being disturbed, whether by his own doing or an outside intervention, however, remained to be seen. 

“Loki?” Thor whispered, narrowing his eye toward where it seemed the worst of the noise was coming from. 

Immediately, the shuffling stopped, though Thor could just make out the sound of someone’s breathing, harsh and ragged, echoing in the darkness, and felt a chill break out on the skin of his arms as it continued. 

“Are you awake?” he tacked on, after a moment.

There was a beat, before the unmistakable sound of Loki growling in irritation carried across the room. 

“What?” Loki snapped, though the irritation behind the words was somewhat doused by how wrecked his voice sounded. 

Thor blinked, his pulse beginning to speed at the tone. “What is it?” he inquired, a little breathlessly. 

He hadn’t heard his brother sound quite so detached, so--so _animalistic_ , since--

Well, since Midgard. 

The thought did little to calm his racing heart, and Thor swallowed thickly before turning to swing both legs off the side of his bed in preparation to stand. 

“Loki?” he prodded, when Loki did not reply. “What’s wrong?” 

“The only thing _‘wrong’_ ,” Loki parroted on a whisper, his words dripping with a familiar mixture of sarcasm and irritation. “Is your insistence upon speaking at full volume in the middle of the night.” 

Thor bristled, though he felt himself automatically relax slightly at the sharp words-- 

(and what did that say about them, that he felt soothed by Loki’s ire, familiar as it was?)

\--and allowed himself to lean back with a small exhale of breath. 

“I heard you speaking.” Thor insisted, though he took care to keep his voice at a lower volume, now. “You sounded frustrated.” 

“I merely awoke myself by rolling into the wall, if you must know.” Loki snapped, a bit of sheepishness creeping into his tone. “Go back to sleep.” 

“I--” Thor frowned, though he could think of no reason why he should not be satisfied by the explanation, beyond the small tugging at the back of his mind that insisted that something was still off about the situation. “If you’re sure…” 

“Thor,” Loki sighed and, though Thor could hardly see him in the dark of the room, he knew without a doubt that Loki would be rubbing wearily at his brow, now. “I assure you--” 

“Highnesses.” a third voice interrupted, thick with sleep and slightly slurred. 

Thor tensed slightly at the sound of it, and knew that Loki was, more likely than not, doing the same. 

“It’s not that I don’t like being woken up specifically in time to hear these little family squabbles,” the Valkyrie continued wearily. “But it would be nice to get a full night’s rest, for once.” 

“I apologize.” Thor replied with a wince. 

“Noted.” Loki cut in and, from the sound of it, was already rolling over to put his back to Thor and the rest of the room. 

“Charmed.” Val added, and it wasn’t a minute later that the sound of her snores began to fill the space between them, again. 

Thor sighed and, after one final glance cast in Loki’s direction, laid back onto his own pillows, though he knew that sleep would not be easy to find, again. 

Particularly as he noted that Loki’s breaths had not evened back out into sleep, instead remaining light and shallow in a way Thor knew meant that his shoulders were being held tense and on alert. 

And, unsurprisingly, they remained that way until morning. 

\---

“What’s up with Lackey?” 

Thor paused, one spoonful of soup halfway to his mouth, before raising his eyes to quirk an eyebrow at where the Valkyrie had fallen into the seat opposite him. 

“What?” 

“Your brother?” the Valkyrie prodded, and raised both her own brows before leaning forward to stuff a bread roll into her mouth. 

“Tall?” she continued past the mouthful. “Greasy? Really likes knives and--” 

“I--I know who he is.” Thor interrupted, and blinked, watching in something like fascination as the Valkyrie washed down the bread with a long swig of mead. 

“So you’ve noticed that something’s off, then.” she concluded, after a moment, and wiped at her mouth with the back of her hand. 

“Something’s always off with Loki.” Thor dismissed, though he could not have denied the small bit of worry that tugged at the space between his ribs, at her words. 

“I’ve noticed.” the Valkyrie replied with a snort. 

“What do you mean ‘off’, exactly?” Thor prodded, after a brief moment’s hesitation. “Did he say something to you?” 

“He doesn’t talk to me.” the Valkyrie retorted immediately, though she made the effort to shrug, as if she was not bothered either way by the fact. “Not unless he absolutely has to. I just--he didn’t sleep last night.” 

Thor nodded, and allowed the spoon in his hand to fall back into his bowl of soup as his stomach tightened uncomfortably. “I know.” 

“He doesn’t ever really sleep, though.” the Valkyrie continued, as if he had not spoken, her gaze trained carefully on her soup. 

Thor felt his brow furrow at the words. “What do you mean?” 

“I mean that he doesn’t ever really sleep.” the Valkyrie shot him a mildly exasperated look. “He just--lies there, and when he doesn’t think anyone’s awake he reads or goes over reports or whatever.” 

“How--” Thor swallowed a little thickly and frowned. “How do you know that?” 

“Because he’s loud as fuck when he wakes up.” the Valkyrie replied immediately. “And I’m a light sleeper.” 

“When he…” Thor trailed off, something like dread sinking to the pit of his stomach. “What do you mean by ‘loud’?” 

The Valkyrie rolled her eyes. “Someone’s full of questions.” she drawled.

Thor did not bother to remind her that she was the one who had brought the topic up, in the first place, and instead forced himself to wait patiently as the Valkyrie took another long swig from her bottle before she replied, “I mean exactly that. He either shouts or mumbles for a while, before he wakes up and sits there breathing like he’s just finished running laps around the ship.” 

She shrugged, then, though Thor realized belatedly that, in her own way, the Valkyrie was attempting to express her concern without doing so outright. 

And, he considered, under any other circumstances he might have smiled slightly at the realization. 

Now, however, his frown simply grew as the Valkyrie’s words began to sink in. 

Loki not bothering to maintain a steady sleeping schedule was, unfortunately, commonplace. 

Since their youth, Thor could remember a number of times their mother had had to drag Loki from the library, most likely loudly complaining about whatever research he’d been conducting being interrupted, before confining him to his rooms and insisting that he get some sleep. 

He also knew without a doubt that Loki had only listened about 30% of the time, instead opting to simply conjure his books to himself and continue working in the silence of his chambers. 

And, though Frigga had never commented, she had obviously been well aware, if the tight lines of worry and frustration around her eyes were anything to go by. 

So no, Thor really was not surprised by the fact that Loki had carried the habits into adulthood, even following his apparent...personality shift, following their initial fight on the Bifrost. 

What was more jarring, however, was his own apparent ignorance to the fact. 

There had been a time, albeit almost too long ago to remember properly, that Thor had prided himself on knowing his brother well, and subsequently being able to be the first to tell when Loki was upset or in pain, as much as the younger attempted to deny it. 

It had been nearly centuries since Thor could have claimed to boast such a talent, however, and it seemed that the failure on his part was beginning to leave another trail of disaster in its wake.

“And this has been,” Thor began, gesturing a little helpless before powering on, “Occurring...regularly?” 

“Almost every night.” the Valkyrie confirmed with a nod. 

_Damn_. Thor thought morosely, the sensation of irritation at his own inadequacy rising within his chest not entirely unfamiliar. 

“Highness?” the Valkyrie was saying, and leaned forward to raise one brow curiously when Thor did not offer a verbal response. “You still with me?” 

“I am.” Thor replied quickly, and offered a small, ghost of a smile when the Valkyrie eyed him disbelievingly. “Truly. I--I’ll check in with him.” 

“Alright.” the Valkyrie leaned back and shrugged again. “Do whatever you want.” 

The small, approving look she sent him, however, belied her flippant tone. 

“Alright.” Thor repeated with a small nod. “I--I thank you, Valkyrie.” 

“Val.” the Valkyrie replied immediately, and glanced away a little uncomfortably when Thor shot her a startled look. “Just--Val’s easier.” 

“Val, then.” Thor amended, the smile crossing his face a bit more genuine, now. 

And, even as he felt something within him warm at the slightly pleased flush on Val’s cheeks, he could not help the surge of anxiety rearing within his chest again as he considered the conversation at hand. 

While it was true that the Valkyrie might be exaggerating some of her claim (she had, admittedly, been known to do so in the past), given Loki’s particular history of adapting...less than healthy habits, Thor felt little inclination to disbelieve it. 

And, while he had not done much to address similar warning signs with Loki in the past (often opting to simply ignore the issue entirely, when it suited him), Thor resolved now to face the issue head on. 

If, in fact, Loki continued to exhibit the behavior. 

Until then, Thor conceded that he would bide his time, and only step in if Loki needed him.

\---

As it turned out, Thor didn’t have to wait very long. 

Not a week following his conversation with the Valkyrie, Thor was awoken in the middle of the night, again, by something moving in their chambers. 

This time, he forced himself to still, keeping his breaths carefully even as he listened for any further disruption. 

And, after a moment, it came. 

What Thor had initially mistaken for the gentle murmur of the ship’s engine grew slowly in volume, and he realized with slowly dawning horror that it was Loki’s voice, rising in pitch until the words were unmistakable. 

“No,” Loki groaned, followed by the sound of him turning over audibly. “N--No. _Please_.” 

“Loki,” Thor whispered, already falling out of bed and creeping toward Loki’s bedroll. 

Thor was halfway across the room before his actions caught up with him, and he forced himself to slow to a halt, if only to avoid Loki’s fury that was sure to flare up, the minute he awoke and discovered his brother hovering over his side. 

“Loki!” Thor hissed, again, his stomach turning slightly when Loki whimpered lowly in response. 

A sound he had not heard in a hundred years, at the very least. 

“Loki, it’s me.” he continued, a little frantically. “It’s Thor. Wake up, Loki. You--” 

“No!” Loki cried, so suddenly Thor nearly reared back in shock, and sat bolt upright so that his back was pressed tightly to the wall behind. “Stay back!” 

“Loki--” Thor began, forcing his tone to remain as low and soothing as he possibly could. 

“What--Thor?” from the other side of the room, Bruce’s sleep-muddled voice called out. “Is everything okay?” 

“Fine!” Thor replied quickly, and mentally cursed the poor timing as he sensed more than saw Loki tense further at the unexpected voice. “Just--” 

“Bruce!” the Valkyrie’s voice hissed, then, followed by a continued conversation so hushed that Thor could no longer make out the words. 

After another moment, silence fell again, and Thor felt a surge of gratitude toward Val, before he returned his attention to where Loki was still sat against the far wall, breathing heavily now. 

“Loki?” he called, again, a bit more hesitantly, now, and stretched out both hands in what he hoped was a relatively soothing gesture. “Do--Are you--” 

“Stay back!” Loki hissed again, and drew himself back against the wall behind so tightly his knees were all but flush to his chest. “Don’t--don’t touch me.” 

“I won’t!” Thor promised, and withdrew his hands so that they were raised level with his elbows. “I only want to make sure that you’re alright.” 

“You want to…” Loki trailed off, before he barked a laugh so harsh and ugly Thor nearly winced at the sound of it. 

“It’s too--too late for that.” Loki gasped past his increasingly hysterical bouts of laughter. “You know as well as--” 

“ _Loki_.” Thor interrupted, allowing a bit of firmness to creep into his tone as Loki continued to scramble backward.

There was a beat, before Loki inhaled a sharp, tremulous breath, and he fell worryingly silent. 

Thor hesitated, his heart beginning to race within his chest, before he prodded, “Loki? Do you--do you know me?” 

The silence continued to stretch out, so long Thor nearly fell another step forward in an attempt to gauge his brother’s wellbeing for himself, before Loki replied, lowly, “I do.” 

All at once, Thor’s breath left him in a great gust of an exhale, and he fought the urge to fall forward in his relief. 

“Are you alright?” he inquired, after inhaling another long and steeling breath. 

Loki’s following silence, however, did little to soothe his frazzled nerves. 

“Loki?” he repeated, not liking the way Loki’s breaths had begun to grow ragged, again. 

And, sure enough, Loki started obviously at the sound of his voice, as if his mind had begun to drift far from the current situation, and he had only just remembered that Thor was there at all. 

He continued to remain resolutely silent, however, and Thor sighed a bit before repeating, “Are you alright?” 

“I--” Loki cut himself off with a sharp gasp, and jolted away again, his feet scrabbling audibly against the cold metal of the floor as he fought to draw further back. “I--I can’t--” 

The air between them became somewhat charged, then, and Thor felt his eyes widen, realizing seconds too late what was happening--

Only for the air before him to glimmer brightly as Loki disappeared, leaving Thor to fall forward into the now empty air with a wordless cry of protest. 

Thor bit back a curse as he hit the ground, irritation mingled with worry beginning to surge within his chest. 

“Thor?” someone called, again, and Thor barely had the presence of mind to recognize the voice as Val’s. “Did he--” 

“He’s gone.” Thor informed, a touch of bitterness coloring his tone as he fell back on his heels with a frown. 

“Is he alright?” Bruce inquired, after a beat. 

“I--I don’t know.” Thor replied with a sigh, and furrowed his brow at where he could see Loki’s sheets, still tangled on the floor beside his knees. 

“I don’t know.” 

\---

“Hey, Thor.” 

“Bruce!” Thor grinned, his heart lightening almost immediately as he raised his eyes from the form in his hands (a running stock of their current supplies, which was looking, at best, abysmal) to greet his approaching friend. 

It was late, far past the time either Thor or Bruce should have been in bed, and Thor could not deny that his pleasure at finding someone else still awake at the hour, not to mention coherent enough to visit where he was still sat before the large window in the makeshift throne room. 

“Enjoying space travel?” Thor continued, after a moment. 

“I uh...yeah.” Bruce offered a small chuckle, and glanced briefly out at the view of the stars the wide window beside them afforded, before he shot Thor a small smile. “Yeah. Space travel is good.” 

“Good.” Thor nodded with a small hum, and opened his mouth to continue--

Only to be drawn to a halt by the somewhat hesitant expression that had shadowed Bruce’s features. 

Thor felt himself frown before he could fully register the urge, and inquired, “Banner?” 

“No, no, it’s great!” Bruce was quick to reassure, and offered another quick, halfhearted smile before continuing, “Have you, uh--Have you talked to Loki, recently?” 

Immediately, Thor felt the urge to sigh outright, and he took a moment to fight the temptation back before inquiring with forced nonchalance, “Why do you ask?” 

“I just--” Bruce stuffed both hands into the pockets of his jeans and shrugged in an exaggerated indifference. “I haven’t seen the guy recently and--and he seems…” he trailed off, his gaze going briefly distant, before he seemed to shake himself and concluded, “I don’t know. Since last week…” 

Thor winced slightly at the words. 

Since Loki’s hasty exit from their chambers, the week before, it had been nearly impossible to track him down; and even harder to engage him in conversation, Thor considered humorlessly. 

To him, the behavior was slightly concerning (though he reminded himself, sternly, that he was hardly in a position to determine what was and was not “usual” for Loki, anymore), though he had, up until now, assumed that their companions might simply dismiss it as “Loki being Loki”. 

Clearly, this hadn’t been the case. 

Not if Bruce’s increasingly agitated expression was anything to go by, at any rate. 

“Have you noticed anything out of the ordinary?” Thor pressed, after a beat, the fluttering taking up residence within his chest not at all helped by Bruce’s small wince. 

“Not--Not necessarily.” Bruce replied, finally. “I just--He hasn’t seemed to talk to anyone, over the past couple days. And--” he broke off, then, glancing away as if he wasn’t entirely sure that he should continue the thought.

“And?” Thor prodded, not entirely sure that he wanted to hear the answer, yet insistent, all the same. 

“And,” Bruce repeated, and nodded to himself before continuing, “He seems...Well, scared.” 

“Scared?” Thor repeated, drawing back and shaking his head slightly in bewilderment. 

In over a century, he hadn’t known Loki to be scared. Hesitant? Possibly. Timid? Occasionally. 

But scared? Overly frightened to the point of revealing the emotion to those he did not trust, nor even knew well? 

Thor couldn’t find it within himself to wrap his mind around the idea. 

He opened his mouth to say as much, only for a sharp cry of “Thor!” from the far end of the hall to interrupt him. 

Thor turned, along with Bruce, and felt his eyes widen as he watched the Valkyrie stride into the room, her expression steely and determined as she slowed to stop beside them. 

“What--” 

“It’s Loki.” Val interrupted Thor’s question, and her expression twisted into something almost like confusion before she continued, “Lackey--Whatever. He needs you.” 

“He needs _me_?” Thor questioned, his brow furrowing in confusion even as he felt his heart beginning to hammer within his chest at the words. “Why--” 

“I came back to our room about an hour ago.” the Valkyrie continued, seemingly not hearing the inquiry. “Loki was already asleep in his corner. But he--When I came in--” she hesitated, though Thor could more or less guess the end to the sentence. 

“He woke up.” he finished for her. 

“More or less.” the Valkyrie winced, slightly. “He wasn’t necessarily coherent...not nearly, really.” 

Thor felt his stomach sink at the words, though he fought to keep his tone level as he inquired, “What happened?” 

“He vanished.” Val shrugged in an almost exasperated manner. “He woke up yelling, took one look at me, and just--” 

She trailed off again, though Thor had heard enough to fill in the blanks for himself. 

“I’ll find him.” he spoke, when it seemed that neither Val nor Bruce was going to, and immediately set off toward the door to the room in order to seek out his wayward brother. 

“Highness!” Val called, and Thor forced himself to slow to a halt, turning to face the two after a brief moment of stillness. 

“He--” the Valkyrie glanced briefly away, before meeting his gaze determinedly. 

“He likes to hole himself up in the storeroom at the end of the East wing.” she continued, finally, though her expression was somewhat reluctant as she tacked on, “He didn’t look well.” 

Thor felt himself frown, though he offered a thankful nod before turning to exit the room entirely. 

\---

Nearly an hour later, and Thor was starting to believe that he would never find his brother. 

He was familiar, of course, with Loki’s tendency to cloak himself from the sight of anyone he did not wish to be found by, on any given occasion. 

Therefore, he was not overly surprised by his inability to track his brother down in a reasonable amount of time. 

However, Thor refused to stop looking quite so readily, the Valkyrie’s words rising unbidden to the forefront of his mind every few minutes as he continued his search through the ship. 

_Didn’t look well…_

Swallowing past the discomfort that had risen at the back of his throat, Thor turned into another empty storeroom, already cursing his own ignorance to Loki’s discomfort as despair began to clog at the back of his throat as he continued his search. 

For, if Loki did not want to be found, it would be near impossible for any one individual to do so.

With a small growl, Thor turned on his heel to continue his search--

Only for a small, almost imperceptible snuffle from the corner of the room to stop him in his tracks. 

Thor froze at the sound, and nearly tripped over his own feet as he turned sharply to stumble back into the room. 

“Loki?” he called, before he could stop himself. “Is that you?”

There was a beat, before another snuffle sounded from the corner, so soft it was almost impossible to hear beyond the sound of Thor’s own breathing. 

He did hear it, however, and felt his pulse race slightly at the aborted sound. 

“Loki?” he called again, more hesitantly, now, and took a small step into the room, raising both hands to indicate that he meant no harm. “Do you--Are you in here?” 

Unsurprisingly, there was no answer, though Thor could not find it within himself to feel discouraged at the fact. 

Not when he could remember Loki having done the same hundreds of times in their youth, masking himself from almost everyone’s view even as he hid in plain sight. 

Even then, he had always left even the smallest of clues as to his location for Thor to find. 

And, in spite of everything, it seemed that this time was no exception. 

“Brother.” Thor called, and took another hesitant step into the room. “It’s alright.” 

From the corner of the small room, another trembling inhale sounded, and Thor would have grinned outright at the familiarity of the sound, were it not for the worry gnawing at his gut. 

“It’s alright.” he repeated, instead, and took another small step forward. “Everything’s alright. If--If you don’t want to show yourself, that’s fine.” 

He inhaled sharply, then, before forcing himself to continue. 

“It’s fine. I’ll be here.” 

There was another harsh, trembling exhale from the corner, and Thor forced himself to offer a small, encouraging smile. 

“I’m here, Loki.” he murmured. “It’s alright.” 

Still, there was no reply, and Thor felt something within himself sink slightly as he deflated, somewhat. 

Then, after another beat of silence, something at the corner of the room glimmered faintly, and Thor barely had time to blink in surprise before Loki appeared, his legs drawn tightly to his chest and his face hidden behind his knees. 

“ _Loki_ ,” Thor breathed, and fell forward before he could stop himself, crashing to his knees not a foot from where Loki was sat. 

It was only as he was reaching out, both hands trembling stretched halfway out between the two of them, that Thor forced himself to still, his heart twisting violently when Loki cringed back at the sudden proximity. 

“Loki,” he whispered, so lowly nobody but his brother could have heard. “Brother...I’m here.” 

He did not bother inquiring if his brother was alright, for the light sheen of sweat on Loki’s brow and the bright, somewhat wild glint to his eyes as he glanced hesitantly up to peer at Thor over his knees, told him all he needed to know. 

Rather, Thor simply scooted another few inches closer, and willed his expression to remain cool and calming even as he extended a hand to hover inches above Loki’s still trembling shoulder. 

And Loki… 

Loki watched the movement, his eyes wide and trained unwaveringly on Thor’s hand, before he flinched back slightly as it approached, his breaths beginning to leave him in short and shallow pants as he moved to hide his face behind where both his arms were crossed over his knees, again. 

“You’re alright!” Thor cried, a little desperately, though he did not move to extend his hand any further. “It’s alright.” 

Loki seemed to hesitate, then, and glanced briefly upward again so that his gaze could flicker uncertainty between the extended hand and Thor’s face. 

And then, to Thor’s mingled horror and shock, Loki’s expression crumpled, and he abruptly began to cry. 

The development was subtle, at first, only identifiable in Loki’s suddenly shimmering eyes and the way his mouth and nose tightened at the edges. 

Then, he inhaled a sharp, tremulous breath, and Thor had hardly a second to register what was happening before Loki buried his face in his knees again and let out a long, muffled wail. 

“Loki!” Thor cried, and immediately fell forward to rest his long, uselessly extended hand onto Loki’s now violently trembling shoulder. “It’s okay. It’s alright!” 

“Shut up.” Loki hissed, the words so cutting that Thor nearly drew back. 

Would have, were it not for the way Loki fairly leaned into his touch. 

“Shut _up!_ ” 

“Alright.” Thor agreed immediately, though, rather than falling back, he simply drew closer to where Loki was curled, beginning to wheeze audibly for breath. “But I won’t leave.” 

Immediately, Loki tensed beneath his touch, and he raised his head slightly to shoot Thor a weak glare through red-rimmed eyes. 

“Why?” he hissed, after a moment of silence, his mouth curling into an ugly sneer. “Because the--the mighty Thor does not wish to leave a pitiful, helpless _monster_ to--” 

“Because I do not wish to leave my _brother_ to suffer.” Thor interrupted, somewhat sternly, and took no pleasure in the way Loki shrunk back somewhat at the tone, before he exhaled and deflated somewhat.

“Loki,” he began, lowly. “Whatever you are--Whatever it is…You can talk to me.” 

Thor adjusted his grip, then, to cup the side of Loki’s neck, gently.

“If you wish it, you can talk to me.” 

Loki blinked, then, his eyes wide and his expression somewhat bewildered, before two fat tears rolled down his face, and he barked a sharp, almost startlingly loud sob. 

“Thor--” he gasped, and squeezed his eyes shut before collapsing forward to rest his forehead against Thor’s shoulder.

And, as Thor raised a hand to automatically cup Loki’s shoulder, he felt his stomach tighten as his brother began to tremble with sobs against him. 

“Shh.” he soothed immediately, and began to rub the hand along the back of Loki’s now trembling shoulders. “Shh. Shhhh. It’s alright. You’re alright.” 

The fact that this was the closest they had been in at least ten years did not go beyond Thor’s notice, and he felt his own throat tighten with the force of the realization even as Loki began to struggle for breath against his shoulder. 

“Shh.” he repeated, and raised the hand not stroking at Loki’s sharp shoulder blades to tangle in the hair at the back of his brother’s head. “Shh. _Hush_ , Loki.” 

Loki, unsurprisingly, did not hush, but simply began to weep with more force, all but burying himself against Thor’s side as he began to gasp for air. 

“I’m--I’m sorry.” Loki gasped, one of his hands rising to tremble badly against Thor’s shoulder for a moment before it all but seized the fabric of Thor’s tunic there. “I’m sorry!” 

He exhaled a weak wail, again, and nearly gagged on his next inhale as he curled closer to Thor’s chest. 

“It’s _alright_.” Thor soothed, and allowed his arm to curl tightly around Loki’s shoulders as he began to rock the two of them gently back and forth, swallowing past the fear he could feel cloying at the back of his own throat as Loki continued to weep miserably. 

Thor didn’t understand what had happened, he realized with a surge of disappointment (more with himself, than anything), and probably wouldn’t for another day or two, at best. 

(At worst, he considered, as something like doubt sunk into his gut like a heavy stone to the bottom of a lake, Loki would disregard this interaction as soon as he was capable of recovering himself, and would not address the issue for another few months, at the very least). 

Rather than consider the possibility too closely at present, however, Thor simply drew his brother closer, and allowed himself to tilt his head to press a long kiss to Loki’s sweat damp brow. 

And, to his muted delight, Loki immediately pressed further into the touch with a small, tremulous exhale as large, crystalline tears continued to track down his sharp cheekbones. 

(Almost as if he had been waiting for the contact for a number of years, and had only just experienced release). 

Pushing the thought aside, Thor moved to press another long kiss to Loki’s temple, before he buried his face into the curls at the crown of his brother’s head, his stomach fluttering slightly at Loki’s own arms raised to curl tentatively around his ribs. 

“That’s it.” he whispered into Loki’s hair, and allowed himself a small smile when Loki only whimpered and tightened his grip in reply. 

After all, even the small acceptance was, for now, miraculous in itself. 

“That’s alright.” 

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry that this is less angsty than it is hurt/comfort! and i'm sorry that i dropped the ball yesterday and made it up by hastily combing both prompts today !
> 
> (in complete honesty i just really wanted to write more over the top fluffy hurt/comfort, and these two tropes were. obvious faves).
> 
> feel free to follow and hmu at my tumblr [here!](http://littlekinng.tumblr.com) xx


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